The first few months after the birth of your baby are arguably going to be the most difficult days you experience. You are sore, sleep deprived, and probably haven't had a shower lasting more than five minutes. To top it all off, you have a plethora of loved ones that want to visit you during this time and the last thing you want to do is play the host. Give yourself a break and take advantage of any service offered. It can be difficult, but learning how to accept help and trust others with your baby will take a huge load off your back.
Follow This Rule
When people come to visit you, have your friends and family follow this rule:There are no visitors, only helpers. If you have guests, make sure they come with the intent to be helpful. Whether it's completing a large or small task, have them do something to support you. Most of them will understand, especially if they've had a baby. I personally believe that if you have guests, you should be off diaper-duty for their entire stay. If you think someone is unable or too old to do chores around the house or watch baby, have them bring you a meal. Great grandmas love to cook for their family!
Other children (besides your own) should probably stay at home throughout the first couple weeks, but make rules that are most appropriate for you. Sometimes having other kids over can give your child a fun playdate in another room, or maybe you don't mind the cute "Ooooohs" and "Aaaaahs" of your niece as she patiently waits on the couch for her turn to hold the baby.
Make A List
People are most likely going to tell you they are "Here if you need me," or "Can I help at all?" They mean well, but it leaves you on the spot with what you feel comfortable letting them do. There is always something to be done, so set your pride aside, make a list, and have someone complete one thing before they leave. Here are some of my favorite chores for mom to put on her list:
Fold and put away laundry
Provide a meal or have someone organize a meal train
Wash baby bottles and pump supplies
Vacuum, sweep, or mop
Load the dishwasher
Pick up and organize the living room, kitchen, or nursery
Give a bottle and burp baby
Check and change baby's diaper
Watch baby while mom showers, naps, or spends time with other children
Take older siblings for the day so mom can focus on baby
You deserve to reset and feel refreshed. It can be understandably difficult to leave someone with your baby, so make sure you reserve that task for a trusted and experienced person. Start with just 10-15 minutes away from the baby and increase the time from there as you get used to being apart from them. Don't come back early if you can hear them crying. Babies cry, and you need to give your help the opportunity to settle the baby on their own.
You are less likely to feel like you need to host when everyone is visiting with the intent to take care of you. Crumple up all guilt and throw it out the door; you have no room for negativity. Be sure to thank your loved ones for all their love and support, and don't forget to use this opportunity to focus on taking care of yourself. That way you can better love and provide for your baby.
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